TRUST

• assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
• one in which confidence is placed
• something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for 

When I was looking up the definition of the word trust, the bullet points above are what I found.  This year, I realized how much I battle to try to have control over my life rather than allowing the Lord to be in charge.  One area I really struggle with this is in academics.  I always want to do my best academically, because it makes me feel successful and secure.  In my mind, I think if I can achieve the grades I want, then I will get into the veterinarian school I want and eventually get my dream career and everything else will just fall into place. My grades give me the security that I am in power and have the ability to control my own future however I want to...

But, even though I know that idea is a complete lie, I still fall into the trap of believing it.  Today, I was taking a walk on our neighborhoods golf coarse and enjoying the beautiful landscape and started thinking about how powerful our Creator is.  Then it hit me. I started asking myself, why do I really want to try and control my life and future?  Whatever future I could imagine for myself will never even  come close to what the Lord has planned for me.  The One who created the oceans, stars, planets, forests, animals, and everything else in the universe has a special plan just for my own life! AMAZING! It made me think, why do I even worry about the future when He has a unique future planned out for each of His children.  It is so astonishing that the Lord of the universe not only cares for you, but He has prepared a special future just for you! 

"No eye has seen, no ear has hears, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him"

~1 Corinthians 2:9 

Through A Different Pair of Eyes

Walking into Starbucks last night I felt like a complete mess....Hair thrown up into a pony tail head, unmatched sweatshirt and shorts on, and watery pink eyes. I got inside and sat down. Then, I realized I forgot my headphones in the car. Beginning to leave the store to walk back out to the car I began thinking to myself "awesome, now I have to go out and walk past all these people looking like a fool...again."

When I came back inside, two middle school age girls where staring at me.  This staring was not a wow look at that struggle, but had a look like they where obviously interested in something about me.  I gave the girls a friendly grin and continued to walk to an open table in the back.  Then, suddenly from behind me,  I hear one of them say "can I ask you a question? My friend and I saw your sweatshirt and we were wondering if you are in a sorority. We think that is so cool!" I began talking to them and told them that I was not, but tried to explain them that it was my dorms letters and what they represent. They then went on to ask me some other questions about college and I talked to them for a few minutes. Then, when our conversation was done, I told them that I hoped they had a wonderful night and it was nice talking to them.

Walking away, I noticed the girls had huge smiles on their faces.  It seemed like they really appreciated that some complete stranger would take the time to even talk to them.  But it made me think, how many times do I miss opportunities like this to show kindness to others, because I am so consumed with my thoughts being entirely focused on myself?  The first time I walked through the Starbucks, I never even noticed them.  It made me think how much more joy I could bring to others just by opening my eyes to the world around me and asking the Lord to reveal to me others who I can show His love to each day.  It reminded me of the song lyrics from Hosanna by Hillsong United.

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause

Learing how to Lose

Hello Everyone! I wanted to start a blog to write about what the Lord has been teaching me and to tell about what is going on in my life.  This week I just finished my freshman year at IWU.  This year was absolutely spectacular! I feel extremely blessed and I am looking forward for the next three years that await me at college.

My favorite thing about this year was the body of Believers that surrounded me.  Everyday, I was encouraged by friends who desire to serve the Lord with their whole heart and seek out His presence.  Their love and passion for the Lord helped me to continue to grow and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father. 

By having a relationship with Jesus, we see His glory.  God "made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ" (2 Corinthians 4:6).  I saw this verse live and active in my friends lives.

"Anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world's light.  It is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light."
 ~ John 11:9-10~

It is much easier to not fall into sin or darkness when those around you are helping you to seek out light.

 Right now, I am working on learning what is means to be a disciple and follow Him. Matthew 16 says:

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?"

My goal for this summer is to take my life one day at a time.  Not look forward to the future or behind me at the past, but focus on the present.  I want to focus living out each day to the fullest!  Every morning I want to wake up and carry my cross for the Lord.

I want to learn how to lose my life to truly win and gain His Kingdom.